Why in the World Did We Have a BABY?

The other day, I was thinking to myself randomly, “Why did we have a baby?” This is not a begrudging question towards my offspring at all, but an honest question to my own heart.

Why does anyone have kids these days? Because that’s what married people do? Because they think it will be fun??? Do we think it will be rewarding and exciting? It is those things sometimes, but most of the time being a parent is hard work. These little people are put into our care by God so that we, as mature adults, can teach them and disciple them into adulthood. What a daunting task that seems…

In some circles today, having kids is seen as a hindrance, a burden, or an obstacle to having the “dream life.” Having kids means taking away our adult freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want. To be perfectly honest, I had a hard time adjusting to that fact that I no longer fully controlled my life and schedule. My daughter trumps everything I plan because her needs come before mine. Talk about self-sacrifice. I had never had to do that before. I am at her beck and call 24-7. And most days I still struggle with some form of selfishness to want to do what I want. But I disagree completely that she is a hindrance, a burden, or obstacle. If anything, she is a greatest task God has given me. There could not be a more important job for me to do in this season, and I wrestle with that fact every day I am her mom.

So, why in the world did I have a baby? Well, I knew I always wanted to be a mom. The title and job sounded so beautiful, and I have a wonderful mom who made everything look so easy. I thought it sounded glorious to be a mom, and babies are just so darn cute! Maybe I had the illusion that parenting would be fun–that this cute little person that looks like me and my husband would just follow our lead all the time. She would go right along with our schedules, our agendas, and just keep up with us. But parenting doesn’t work that way. Your whole life changes in a mere second when this human being enters the world and needs you ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes I try to remember what Josh and I did before we had Corra. I think to myself, “What DID we do? Did we just sit around all the time? Did we have long conversations about something besides what our daughter ate for lunch, what her poop looked like today, and how many times we’ve read the same book to her?” I’m convinced we didn’t really do anything very important before we had her because I can’t remember most of it. She has changed our lives so much we can’t remember life before her, and I don’t want to imagine my life without her. I love her. I love her deeply. God put her in my life to show me how to love like Jesus. I think, wow–this is what unconditional love feels like. I love Corra even when she is not doing the right things, on our hardest days together. She is the sweetest and most precious girl in my eyes, just like God sees me as His daughter (and Corra also). Even though I will never love perfectly like Jesus did, I see God using my relationship with her to teach me to love others better than myself (Romans 12:10). That is HUGE.

I believe we had a baby because that’s what we felt God next step was for our little family. It is beautiful amidst the hard. God knows why we had a baby. To refine us. To grow us. To grow our family and glorify Him in the example we set in our relationships with one another. Are we perfect parents? No, and we never will be. But I pray that God’s grace will shine through in the way we rise our children. That people will see Jesus through us–through our mess, through our authenticity, and through the grace He shows us.

Grace to you and all your peoples tonight.

 

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Hello Again

I don’t really want to count the number of times I have tried to start blogging again these last few years and utterly failed. Life tends to sweep us away like a big tidal wave, and it sometimes take quite some time to recover and cough up all the salt water we swallowed up in the wake of it all.

Well, I am back…hopefully for the long run this time. After buying a house, having a baby, and transitioning into motherhood, I should have a wealth of wisdom, right? Nope. Still trying to figure a lot of things out. I think writing will be a good way to process everything going on in life. Even if only my family and friends read this, they will at least feel like they are a part of our grace-full lives.

How many titles for my blog have I gone through? Again, too many time to count. I finally settled on the title “These Grace Full Days.” Not because I am graceful or our lives are graceful (they are anything but that), but because every day as a wife, mother, friend, and ultimately, a child of God, I am learning to live and accept God’s truly amazing grace.

I have known the song “Amazing Grace” practically whole life, just like other good church-going children growing up. But it has only been in the last few years that I have soaked in every word of that hymn. Becoming a wife four years ago taught me much about grace as my new husband continually extended grace to me as I navigated the waters as a new wife (let’s just say I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into). We both had to forgive and extend grace to one another each and every day as we learned to live with someone of the opposite sex every day.

Then last year I became a mother, and grace slapped me in the face (if you can even use grace in that context). My first year of motherhood was rough, and I fought a lot of the things motherhood brought my way. But God used some very difficult days to steer me in the right direction towards forgiving myself and learning to trust Him. I speculate that being Corra’s mom has taught me way more than I have taught her so far. While she was meeting developmental milestones, I was working on spiritual ones. When she was learning to sit up, I was learning to live selflessly by continuing to change her, feed her, and play with her even when I was totally exhausted. When she was learning to crawl, I was learning to be content with my sometimes boring, mundane days as a stay-at-home mom. While she was practicing pulling herself up and walking, God was teaching me to remain a loving and thoughtful wife even when I didn’t feel like it after a long day. As Corra started learning her first words, I was learning to hold my tongue when words of complaint and ungratefulness started to spill out of my mouth.

Every day, I am learning to lean on the loving arms of Jesus and to remember what He did for me on the cross. I want my daughter to know that we can do nothing without Him. I will write as a testament of my faith and a legacy to my daughter (and future children, hopefully) that I could not do anything without God’s grace. If my life amounts to nothing but living out this truth and pointing my kids to Jesus, it will have been a life well spent. No matter what the culture or society says. Some days I don’t always feel like that, but God will see me through.

My husband said something i won’t forget a few weeks back when I was beating myself up for getting frustrated with Corra. He said, “You are not a bad mom. This is a grace-filled house. You are not disappointing God.He loves you just as you are, and so do I.”

So come on over, you will be entering a grace-full home when you come to visit us. Bring your baggage, your struggles, and your sorrows. Jesus will be here waiting. On this blog or in our real home. Visit anytime. I will most likely have just made a fresh pot of coffee, tea, and some gooey cookies. Mmmmm…View More: http://camillemariephotography.pass.us/tiegsfamily