I don’t really want to count the number of times I have tried to start blogging again these last few years and utterly failed. Life tends to sweep us away like a big tidal wave, and it sometimes take quite some time to recover and cough up all the salt water we swallowed up in the wake of it all.
Well, I am back…hopefully for the long run this time. After buying a house, having a baby, and transitioning into motherhood, I should have a wealth of wisdom, right? Nope. Still trying to figure a lot of things out. I think writing will be a good way to process everything going on in life. Even if only my family and friends read this, they will at least feel like they are a part of our grace-full lives.
How many titles for my blog have I gone through? Again, too many time to count. I finally settled on the title “These Grace Full Days.” Not because I am graceful or our lives are graceful (they are anything but that), but because every day as a wife, mother, friend, and ultimately, a child of God, I am learning to live and accept God’s truly amazing grace.
I have known the song “Amazing Grace” practically whole life, just like other good church-going children growing up. But it has only been in the last few years that I have soaked in every word of that hymn. Becoming a wife four years ago taught me much about grace as my new husband continually extended grace to me as I navigated the waters as a new wife (let’s just say I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into). We both had to forgive and extend grace to one another each and every day as we learned to live with someone of the opposite sex every day.
Then last year I became a mother, and grace slapped me in the face (if you can even use grace in that context). My first year of motherhood was rough, and I fought a lot of the things motherhood brought my way. But God used some very difficult days to steer me in the right direction towards forgiving myself and learning to trust Him. I speculate that being Corra’s mom has taught me way more than I have taught her so far. While she was meeting developmental milestones, I was working on spiritual ones. When she was learning to sit up, I was learning to live selflessly by continuing to change her, feed her, and play with her even when I was totally exhausted. When she was learning to crawl, I was learning to be content with my sometimes boring, mundane days as a stay-at-home mom. While she was practicing pulling herself up and walking, God was teaching me to remain a loving and thoughtful wife even when I didn’t feel like it after a long day. As Corra started learning her first words, I was learning to hold my tongue when words of complaint and ungratefulness started to spill out of my mouth.
Every day, I am learning to lean on the loving arms of Jesus and to remember what He did for me on the cross. I want my daughter to know that we can do nothing without Him. I will write as a testament of my faith and a legacy to my daughter (and future children, hopefully) that I could not do anything without God’s grace. If my life amounts to nothing but living out this truth and pointing my kids to Jesus, it will have been a life well spent. No matter what the culture or society says. Some days I don’t always feel like that, but God will see me through.
My husband said something i won’t forget a few weeks back when I was beating myself up for getting frustrated with Corra. He said, “You are not a bad mom. This is a grace-filled house. You are not disappointing God.He loves you just as you are, and so do I.”
So come on over, you will be entering a grace-full home when you come to visit us. Bring your baggage, your struggles, and your sorrows. Jesus will be here waiting. On this blog or in our real home. Visit anytime. I will most likely have just made a fresh pot of coffee, tea, and some gooey cookies. Mmmmm…